Finding Direction in your 20’s

I’ve graduated college, I’ve worked for over a year already and I’m still confused as to what I want to do and what I see myself doing. I’ve actually had this struggle since I made my first grown up decision of choosing a course and school for college (which I don’t regret at all). 

All that I’m sure of is that I have some goals that I want to achieve, dreams that I hope come to life and little passion projects that I work on during my spare time. 

What about you? Are you in this same situation where you can’t help but wonder how you’re supposed to live your life? Have you been constantly thinking of what you should do and what you must do to say that you lived wonderfully? 

From what I’ve been hearing...going through this challenging stage on your 20’s is what everyone calls normal. They say that it’s during this certain time period when you get to know yourself more, realize the things that you want or don’t want to do and mainly to see what path you choose to lead your life to.

I’m sure we all go through this train of thought especially through our own experiences. Some of you might have tried out a career path and ended up not liking the job but you push yourself to stay anyway for the good income. Some of you might have tested out a new skill and ended up understanding that it’s not really for you so you slowly get tired of finding what’s meant for you. We all have different stories, moments and learning curves but there will be that one day when you get a hidden intervention wherein you realize what you must do and the baby steps you must go through to understand your own life fully. 

I’ve come across this book entitled “The Crossroads of Should and Must: Find and Follow Your Passion” by Elle Luna which I believe was my hidden intervention. Who am I to say this right? I’m just a 21 year old girl who barely has any experience in life. Well to be honest, after reading this book, it made me realize a lot of the things that I want to try doing (even if I am scared) and it also helped me paint a clearer picture of what I want to do.  It may not be a full drawn picture, but it’s definitely a draft filled with a load of sketches. 

I don’t want to spoil too much content of this book so I’d like to share some important life points that I picked up that surely I’ll never forget: 

So in this book... Elle Luna mentions that we go through a constant crossroad in our life which is SHOULD and MUST and everyday we always get to choose where to go. However, because of TIME, MONEY, SPACE and our own VULNERABILITY we shoo our musts away and stick with what we feel is right which is our “Shoulds". 

According to her, "Should is how other people want us to live our lives. When we choose Should, we’re choosing to live our life for someone or something other than ourselves.” Must, is different. It is who we are, what we believe and what we do when we are alone with our truest, most authentic self. Must is when we stop conforming to other people’s ideals and start connecting to our own- and this allows us to cultivate our full potential as individuals.” 

Saying this seems easy right? But it’s actually choosing should or must that’s difficult to do. When we examine our shoulds, it’s like examining the prison that we’ve been enclosed to. That’s why in order to know our “musts”, we must get to know our “shoulds.” and it’s not easy. It takes a lot of time, effort and commitment. 

So this self-help book, allows you to understand your life much better than you already do. Some practice tests are given to let you dig deeper to know yourself from the core. From this book, I learned importance of therapists and psychiatrists. It honestly doesn’t mean you have a problem when you have sessions with them, it’s just like going to the gym, but instead you enhance your life’s worth. 

Here are some of the important lines from the book that have struck me the most:

This is the most important reminder you should always keep in mind: 

Truly, this book has inspired me to get to know myself more and to realize the things I really want to do. I may still be confused on the full path of my life and the decisions and choices I have to make but I’m willing to try out new things and to see what’s really meant for me. Knowing your musts might take a while, but you should willingly accept that challenge. I did and I'm about to take one of the biggest risks of my life (which I will share with you all later on.)

Honestly, you wouldn’t want to regret the life you’re living so take some time to get to know YOU more. Don’t turn yourself down. It’s time for you to DO YOU, BE YOU, and STAY TRUE. Time for you to #ChooseMust! 

You'll know you’re on the right path when you’re constantly happy living and learning. I hope you add this book to your must-haves! It might just be the intervention you need.

1 comment

  1. This is a really interesting book, Rach! Thanks for sharing this, as well as your thoughts. You are lucky to have such mindset at an early age. For sure our 20s won't give us a smooth journey, but I'm also sure yours would be an awesome ride because you are already equipped (with the way you see the world). They say 20s is the hardest but the most fun adventure also. Let's make the most out of it! ♡

    ~ Inah