The Art of Not Knowing

9:41 PM



In a few more hours, my new year is bound to start and to be honest, I have no clue as to how I should feel, as to what I should say or as to what I should even do.

Yes, I will always be grateful for all that is and was but to be honest I still don’t have an answer to the biggest question I’ve been asking myself ever since I graduated college. I still don’t know know what I’m doing with my life and what the future holds for me. 

Over the past 365 days, I’ve been struggling with myself to know exactly what I want. Goals and dreams are easy to figure out but when it comes to dealing with reality, I easily get so worried and anxious that I end up questioning every little thing about myself even when I shouldn’t. 


I know people on their birthdays usually share the 22 things they’ve learned or their life journey at 21 but for me, I simply want to share the biggest realization I had over the past year in the hopes of giving comfort to those of you out there who are just like me —still uncertain about life, and a lot of things.

And boy, they were right. At twenty one, you become a little grownup whose thought process changes, mindset is different and perspective is more mature than ever. I know I'm still a kid at heart but my priorities in life have changed. 

Also, I never realized how a lot of things can change in just a year. I will always be grateful to the man up there who has blessed me with life opportunities to grow, enjoy and learn from. So, THANK YOU Lord, for this beautiful life I can call my own.

 By now, I’m sure you know most of the turning points of my 21st year but to complete that list, I’d like to share something important with all of you that  has kept me sane throughout the tough times of the year. I’ve learned the art of not knowing and how it has helped me become more positive and motivated than I ever was. I’ve come to realize that not knowing is okay and  that it shouldn’t be a setback but a mindset to move you forward.  It wasn’t easy getting here but I learned a lot from it which I’d like to share with you all today.


So to those of you who have no idea of what life is meant for you or what the future has in store for you, this one’s for you! 

 “It’s okay to now know what exactly you want to do, where you want to go or who you want to become. I know how scary uncertainty is (with time and age limits) but everything will turn out fine if you believe in your own pace. Just take it day by day. Don’t rush yourself and do things one step at a time. Before you know it, you’ll realize that slowing down and taking the time you need is what gives your life more purpose and meaning. It makes you feel more alive and happy.

Also, uncertainty can bring out the good and bad in you. Ironic right? But we can’t help it. Don’t get me wrong but it’s taking the unexpected steps and learning from crossroads that makes your life a well-lived one so reaching your destination without a hardworking, happy and memorable journey is not worth taking at all. 

So don’t worry if you’re in a place where you don’t know what’s meant for you. It’s fine. Don’t give up and lose hope. Disallow uncertainty to hold you back from living. Instead, let it push you forward to see what you might be missing out. 

‘Cause at the end of the day, no matter what you’ll always be surrounded by the greatest support system you could ever imagine -your loves ones and the man up there. You shouldn’t worry at all.

Live life with peaks and pitfalls. Live life to the fullest.  Go beyond the uncertainty that has always been holding your back and you’ll be surprised that you’re living the life that you can specially call you own.” 

Untitled, 1997, Acrylic and modeling paste on canvas, 96 x 120 inches by Laura Owens (Whitney Museum, NYC)
At 22, I'd like to confidently say that "It's okay to not know." 

So if you ask me for advice at 22 well I’d just say that you should’t pressure yourself to know what you exactly want at this moment or to compare yourself to how life is for other people.

 A lot of things could still come and go everyday that you might not even expect but you will absolutely love. So yeah, for me. Keep living in your own your pace. Live life like it’s your last day. Stay strong, have faith and trust in the universe. Things will come your way if you let it be. Happiness is a choice and it’s one you should always make. Appreciate the little things even small victories. Before you know it, you’ll be living life your own way.

So, thank you everyone who continuously join the journey and support and believe in me. I will always be grateful to each one of you. This year wouldn’t have been the best without you, me and the man up there so I’d like to offer up love and gratitude to all of you who has made my life worth living and one to continuously work hard to inspire all of you.

This is it. I’m ready to open a new life chapter with the high hopes of still bringing you all good vibes and inspiration! xx


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